There's Nobody Can Help Me
by Moksgmol
Summary: AU Early makes good on his threat to Kaylee before looking for the Tam siblings. The crew finds them just a little too late and has to deal with the repercussions.
1. Chapter 1

'Have you ever been raped, little Kaylee?'

Her eyes widening in fear, breath too short to answer, she shakes her head; short, jerking movements, side to side, pupils staying on him, not moving with the rest of her terrified visage.

'The captain's right by-'

'The captain's locked in his quarters. They all are. There's nobody can help you. Say it.'

'There's… there's nobody can help me.'

'I'm gonna tie you up now. And you know what I'm gonna do then? I'm gonna give you a present. Get rid of a problem you've got. And I won't touch you in any wrong fashion, nor hurt you at all, unless you make some kind of ruckus. You throw a monkey wrench into my dealings in any way, your body is forfeit. Ain't nothing but a body to me, and I can find all unseemly manner of use for it. Do you understand?'

'Yes.'

'Turn around and put your hands behind your back.'

She moaned as she did so, mind screaming not to but her feet obeying his words. She felt him tying her up, guiding her gently to the ribbed deck plating, and rolled over as soon as she felt his hands part with her skin, needing to keep her eyes on him, needing to see him more than she needed to breath, as evidenced by her quick, gasping breaths. Whether it was more from the fear or guilt now welling up inside her she didn't know. She wanted him to leave so she could curl into herself, let her salty tears drip onto the metal beneath her, hear Serenity's calming thrum and watch the engine spin until Simon came and made her feel better... but no, he wouldn't, not ever again, because he'd be so mad at her when...

And that was why she also desperately wanted Early to stay, though she was scared out of her mind at what he would partake in if he didn't leave her engine room. She couldn't stand the thought of him finding River and Simon, hated the fact that it would be her fault, that he would, would...

He was starting to walk away, was almost out of the hatch now; oh, Buddha, what had she done?

'You know what?' Early suddenly questioned, pausing, one foot hovering over the sill. Though she didn't respond he continued. 'I've made that promise dozens of times, but I've never made good on it. Does that seem right to you? I should know what I'm promising, shouldn't I? Hmmm? Shouldn't I know if it's enough of a threat? Shouldn't I have an example, a little something to fall back on in case I need it to be just that bit more convincing? Hmmm?'

He set his raised foot down on the ledge in the door jam and half-turned his body, his collected eyes locking onto her scattered ones.

'Does that seem _right_ to you, little Kaylee?'

She only trembled in response, and he almost smiled, but kept it to himself. The tears that were threatening to fall from her wide eyes had yet to, and Early knew the strength it took to do that, when he considered the other times he'd made the same threat, though he also knew that she was probably feeling just the opposite of big and tough at this moment.

'Well?'

This prompted a quick response; another twitch of the head, more white showing around her eyes.

'Well, I have to say that I really don't agree. Wouldn't you rather I stay here instead of finding those fugitives that you're harbouring? Wouldn't you rather I not turn them in?'

She gave him no response; she just remained on the floor, shaking like a leaf, keeping her eyes right on his own. He did have to give her credit for that.

He'd see what she deserved credit for when he finished with her.

_Well, there we go, my first _Firefly_ story (or the first chapter, at least, ahah). It's actually the second story I've written; I'll post the other one sometime soon, just have to proof it. Have the next couple chappies of this written too, just gotta get around to fixing them up too. Hope that you all like this, and I hope that I've done some justice to these wonderful characters! Oh, and I don't own anything related to _Firefly_, and I borrowed some of their dialogue for the start of this chapter._

_Reviews make me feel warm and fuzzy inside_ J

_Cheers,_

_Moksgmol_


	2. Chapter 2

It was River that alerted them to the fact that something was wrong

It was River that alerted them to the fact that something was wrong. She woke up panicked and babbling, shouting about flying tools and _Serenity_'s heart breaking. Try as he might, Simon couldn't calm her or keep her in her bed. He was halfway to the infirmary with her when she began screaming in earnest, wrenching away from him, bare feet pounding the metal flooring as she raced for the engine room, hair flying as wildly as her legs. Simon called her name, and their combined racket sent the rest of crew, with the exception of Jayne, nestled snuggly in his bunk, running to them.

Mal, always quick on his feet, realized that something was likely wrong in his engine room, and in turn, with Kaylee. He vaulted his way past River, shoving her back towards her brother, and barged into the room, shooting before he had time to fully process the scene.

He was terrified to see Kaylee's form as limp and as silent Early's; horrified that the ringing in the air was from _his _bullet.

He called her name gruffly as he leapt forward, ignoring the rest of the crew as they clustered at the door behind him, ignoring Inara's sob of terror and Simon's startled cry of outrage. River had stopped yelling at the blast from the gun, and was now standing quietly beside Zoe. When she heard the older woman cock her gun she turned her head towards her, eyes sad.

'Doesn't matter; dead now.'

Zoe just wasn't sure who.

_Well, that's chapter two. A little shorter than I planned, but it felt right to end it there. Next one will be up soon, just have to proof it. Oh, and a thank you to Majesta Moniet for the review; they're always welcome and appreciated!_

_Ciao, Moksmol_


	3. Chapter 3

Mal grabbed Early's shoulders, hauling his body both up and, to his disgust, _out_ of Kaylee.

Her eyes were open and staring, and though he couldn't see blood at first glance, she wasn't moving.

Before he had the chance to do anything more than look, though, Inara swept in, adjusting Kaylee's coveralls and wrapping her in the silky folds of her clothing.

'Oh Kaylee, sweetheart, dearheart, bao bei, xin gan, hush, hush…' Inara kept up a steady stream of comforting murmurs, pulling the smaller girl up off the cold decking and into her warmth, untying her as she spoke, but her efforts were in vain; Kaylee stared into space, silent and tearless, un-resisting but unhelpful.

Once Inara had the mechanic free of her bonds she tried for her attention again, cupping the girl's face in her soft hand, turning Kaylee's sightless eyes to meet her watery ones.

'Come on, mei mei, speak to me.' But Inara's attempts proved to be futile, and she struggled to hold in the sobs that wanted to accompany her tears. Lift

At this point Mal crouched down, reaching out a hand for Kaylee's shoulder. He hesitated before touching her though, unsure as how to treat her, and opted to rest his hand on Inara instead. He glanced back toward Simon, gesturing for him to come closer.

The doctor complied, and Mal drew Inara back to give him some space. Simon bent forward, crouching in front of Kaylee, though she didn't seem to see him, and he reached out to her, taking her chin in his hand and turning her face towards his own, softly calling her name.

As soon as her eyes met his they snapped into focus; she gasped and gave a startled cry before beginning to sob in earnest, jerking her face out of his grasp and pulling her legs up into her body.

Simon jumped back in surprise and Inara surged out of Mal's suddenly slack grip to comfort her, though the Companion was crying just as hard. Her attempts were useless, however, as Kaylee merely cringed away from her gentle hands and soft tones, crushed her legs into her heaving chest, squeezed her eyes shut, pressed her forehead to her knees, and began screaming, wordlessly, like Simon had never heard any of his patients scream, and it terrified him.

Inara simply held her tight and Kaylee just kept pulling away, and even though Inara knew that the last thing Kaylee needed now was forced affection, she couldn't help but try to fulfill her own selfish need to hold her and protect her, though the hurt was done and would never be undone. The sounds her mei mei was making were almost inhuman, and she didn't know anything to do for her but to hold her tighter and tighter.

Suddenly Kaylee's grip on herself slackened, and her wild screams died into a strange, keening wail that became softer with each breath she took. Her legs relaxed, sliding away from her torso, arms falling to her side as her head clunked solidly against Inara's shoulder. The woman wrapped her arms more firmly around the younger girl and looked up to see Jayne standing over the two of them, a metal object glinting in his hand.

'Woke up to go to the loo and knew somethin' was up. Doped her; ain't nothin' else was gonna stop screamin' like that.'

_Okay, I probably could have spent some more time editing that, but I really wanted to get it up tonight because you guys have given me such great reviews, and I have to get off to sleep before I start work at 4:15 tomorrow morning (ugh). In other words, if there are some mistakes my apologies; I'll fix them up when I get the chance. I have yet to write the next chapter, but it should be up within the next couple days; I'm really stoked about this fic, and I have a pretty clear idea of where I'm going (for now at least, ahah)_

_Lastly, thankyouthankyouTHANKYOU for all of your wonderful reviews! They really do encourage me to write more and to get it up quickly for you guys. And they make my day, too! A special thanks also has to go to impeccableblahs for such kind words; it was one of the nicest (and most certainly the longest!) review I've ever had._

_Well, I'm out before I babble on too long. Like I said, I'll try to get the next chapter up soon and I'll even try to make it longer (short chapters have to be one of my worst habits on this site!)_

_Cheers, Moksgmol_


	4. Chapter 4

Inara gave Kaylee's now limp body a squeeze, closing her eyes tightly for a moment and just breathing her in... engine grease prevailed, but underneath was the sharp tang of metal and the sweet scent of strawberries. Inara adored it more than any of her perfumes; she always loved the way it lingered in her shuttle for hours when she brushed the girl's hair. After a moment of silently gathering her courage she opened her eyes, looking up at Mal.

He sighed in return, glancing over his shoulder at the crew before settling his gaze on Simon.

'She okay?'

'Did you not just hear her screamin' like a banshee, Mal?' Jayne cut in, still holding the tranquilizer in his hand, and looking at Mal as though he were dumber than himself.

'I meant in the strictly physical sense Jayne; wasn't talking none 'bout _our_ little Kaylee.' Mal replied, before looking back towards the doctor. 'Well?'

Simon, still wide-eyed after Kaylee's violent reaction to him, visibly steeled himself before approaching her. He paused before reaching out gingerly to lay a hand on her shoulder. When this action resulted in no response he gently slid his fingers up to her neck, feeling for her pulse, leaning in close to listen to her breathing.

'She seems to be alright. At least, _physically_ she seems to be. As well to be expected that is, seeing as she was... well, I'd like to run some tests, just the same. And make sure that Jayne gave her an appropriate amount of sedative; it'll give me an idea of when she'll be waking up, so we can be ready for her.' He moved as though he were preparing to lift the girl, but then stopped, settling back onto his haunches again, looking up to the captain. 'Shall we take her to the infirmary, then? No use in her getting a chill down here.'

Mal gave him a quick searching look before telling Jayne to carry her there. The merc complied, handing the silver gun to Zoe before scooping Kaylee up into gentle arms and carrying her out of the room without so much as a backwards glance. Zoe and Wash followed him out, the captain close behind them, leaving Inara and Simon, both still crouched on the deck plating.

Apart from Serenity's usual sounds there was silence. After a long moment of watching the engine's spinning Inara turned her head back towards Simon, making eye contact briefly before standing and sweeping out of the room.

The doctor waited a little longer, holding his breath to hear the engine, keeping his eyes from the deck plating and all its evidence of foul play, almost as though not seeing the rope and that monster meant that nothing had happened. That he was crouching on the floor to check under _Serenity's_ belly for Kaylee, or that it wasn't some ungodly hour, that they both shouldn't be snuggly in bed right now. He finally heaved a sigh, lowering his eyes as he stood and made his way to Early's body. A look of hatred twisted his features before he lashed out, kicking the man as hard as he could in the ribs, almost wishing that the bounty hunter was alive so he could feel the pain. Wishing he was alive so Simon could kill him.

'Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng.'

_See Kaylee? I swear when it's appropriate._

_--_

By the time Simon reached the med bay only Mal was with Kaylee, the latter still asleep and now covered in blankets.

'Sent the crew off to find somthin' to do. Figured she'd need space when she wakes up.'

Simon nodded, silently bustling around the room, flitting towards Kaylee and jerking away, back to one of the cupboards or a counter-top, close enough to inspect but never near enough to touch or disturb the fragile silence surrounding her.

Mal finally broke into his actions, rolling a small cough into a sentence.

'She gonna wake up soon?'

'She should be.' Simon responded, pausing and glancing at the mechanic's prone form.

'She gonna freak out again with you here?'

Simon shot a glare over his shoulder, but remained silent.

'I know it ain't you who's done nothin', but it don't look like little Kaylee does. So, and not that I mean to offend, but I will if I need to, I'm thinking that you had better make yourself scarce before she comes to.'

Simon remained quiet and motionless, hands still poised above whatever he had been fussing over in the corner.

'She need anything medically right now?' Mal pushed. 'Or right when she wakes up?'

'No.'

'Then git.' Mal says with a hard look at Simon, patiently glaring at the man as he slowly put away his supplies, staying until he could not possibly find a reason to be in the room any longer, before heading slowly towards the door.

Just as Mal began to turn his eyes away Simon paused, turning back into the room and walking over to Kaylee.

Mal began to open his mouth but was shot a glare so like his own that he paused mid-action, choosing to merely watch the doctor instead.

Once Simon was sure that Mal wouldn't try to stop him, he softened his gaze before turning to Kaylee. He stilled when he reached her, letting one hand rest a moment on the bedside as he looked down at her sleeping form before taking her hand in his own, gently rubbing the skin between her thumb and fingers with his own thumb. He slows to a stop, breathing a soft sigh before releasing her hand and brushing her hair off of her forehead. One last run of his hand across Kaylee's brow before he turns, still silent, and abruptly leaves her to Mal.

The captain watches him go, knowing that he had more than likely been too hard on the man. Behind Simon's back, though, Mal's eyes, hard when he had told Simon to leave, gentled, full of sympathy.

--

Mal was drifting by the time Kaylee began to wake. Caught between sleeping and waking as he was, the captain took almost as long as the girl in front of him to pull his way back to conciousness.

The girl rolled over and looked at him, meeting his eyes squarely once she was aware of his presence. Mal sent off a quick thank you to Budda that she wasn't screaming, and waited a moment for her to gather herself.

'Cap'n?'

'How're you little Kaylee?' He almost reached a hand for hers but stilled himself, waiting to more properly gauge her current state.

'I don't want to be here.'

Mal was momentarily thrown by this, in his opinion, rather blunt statement.

'Now Kaylee, we all need you, and Serenity too, and I know that I'm a mean old man, but-'

'No Cap,' she began, and he was quick to shut his trap, noting that she completely ignored his attempt at a joke in his rush to assure her of their love. 'Don't want to be _here_, this room... not in Si- the infirmary.'

Mal almost melted, but he knew what Simon's response would be to that. 'Now Kaylee, I'm not so sure that's the best ide-'

She gave a sudden shudder at his words, wrenching her body over the opposite side of the bed and retching. Mal broke off mid-sentence, startled, before leaning forward to gather her hair in one hand and stroke her back with his other. She heaved until her stomach was dry and her throat burned, before falling back, covered in sweat, into Mal's waiting arms.

'Please Mal?'

He couldn't say no, not now that she'd used his real name rather than his self-made title. And if that hadn't done it, her face - desperate and pleading, not a trace of her puppy-dog eyes - would have sealed the deal. The wasn't a tear in sight or threatening, but Mal had never seen anyone half as sad looking as his Kaylee did in that moment.

'Sure, mei mei, of course. Anything you need.'

_Firstly, my sincerest apologies for this taking so long! First there was Canada Day, and then my Dad's birthday, and then work, and a whole bunch of other excuses that mean nothing to any of you, but they certainly ate up all of my time! Secondly, thank you again for all of your kind words and to everyone who had favourited this story or put it on an alert. (and for over 600 hits!) To astacia: you're completely right, the idea of Jayne actually knowing how to dope someone is terrifying, so I threw in a line about that (not that he did it wrong, thankfully, for Kaylee's sake, haha) And of course, to impeccableblahs; thank you again for your awesome reviews, they always make my day, so feel free to continue with any ramblings you'd like! And my apologies to your cousin, haha. In answer to your question about the romance, I wasn't really planning on putting anyone together who wasn't already an established couple in the Firefly 'verse. I want to keep it true to the show, and timeline-wise I was planning on this story ending before BDM. Tried to make this chapter a little bit longer than the rest, but I figured I had better just get it up (so I defs could have spent more time proofing, but I just really want to post i!), so here it is. Oh, and that part between Inara and Kaylee in the third chapter (forced affection), is one of my favourite parts in this so far too... love it when my fingers just tap out the right words :) _

_Thanks again to all of you and please enjoy! - Moksgmol_


	5. Chapter 5

Mal softly closed the hatch behind him, pausing a moment with his back to the door, hand still on the latch. His eyes close and he exhales slowly, gathering himself before heading into the kitchen, where he knows his crew will be waiting for news.

He steps into the door to see them all huddled around the table and miserable, not a word to be said. Zoe notices him first, and raises her head from where it had been resting near, but not quite on, Wash's shoulder; she keeps her fingers tightly entwined in the pilot's. The movement, though slow and smooth, alerts everyone to his presence, and they all turn to face him, silently, apprehensively, waiting to hear what he has to say.

'Just got her settled into her room. As well off as can be expected, I guess, but she's takin' this pretty hard,' He began, moving towards the table to take his usual seat at the head.

'And why is she not in the infirmary still!' Simon hissed, anger just below the icy surface of his tone. Mal knew that he was still angry at being sent away earlier, and was pretty sure the only reason he wasn't shoutin' loud enough to be heard in the vacuum of space was for Kaylee's benefit. _Serenity_, for all that he loved her, wasn't the largest ship in the 'verse, and Kaylee had a way of being around just the right vent at the right time to hear somethin' she wasn't supposed to.

'Just wanted to be in her own bunk, have her own stuff. Figured she'd be a mite more comfortable there, anyways. Have to keep an eye on her and keep her busy; don't want no-one to be buggin' her or pushin' her to talk about what's happened 'til she's good and ready, dong ma?'

Simon stood up abruptly as Mal finished, shoving his chair back away from the table, not bothering to stop it from falling. Zoe just managed to grab it before it crashed to the floor, but Simon ignored her movement. He was breathing through his nose in hard, sharp, painful puffs of air, fists clenched on the table, body vibrating as though he were going to explode any moment.

Mal gave a sigh, realizing that he wasn't going to be able to lie his way into helping Kaylee avoid an overbearing crew; he was going to have to be straight with them.

'Sit down, Simon, and let me explain things, alright?'

The doctor just continued to glare at him, not moving save the tremors of anger running through him.

'You stormin' off to find her all angry-like is just gonna get her more upset, and that's the last thing I'm gonna let you or anyone else do on this boat, now or anytime.'

Something shifted in Simon's gaze and he met Mal's eyes, his anger slightly abated but still standing.

'I said _sit down_, gorramit!'

Simon sat rather abruptly, silently thanking the first mate for catching his chair earlier.

'Now listen up... she's not in your med bay doc, because for whatever reason, she doesn't want to be around you. I surely tried to get her to stay, but little Kaylee had herself so worked up she got sick. If you don't believe me, you can go check; it's still all over the floor. In fact, why don't you go and clean that up while you give her some space and cool down. She'll come to you when she's ready. As for the rest of you, keep an eye and an ear out for her, but nobody, and I mean nobody, is to bring that girl any more harm than's already been done. Jayne, be sure you space that hundan too; last thing I need is for her to be stumbling across that again.'

'Already done, Mal.'

The captain favoured his merc with a calculating look. 'Good man. And now, I think that we could all use some sleep, so if you'll excuse me, I'm heading towards my bunk.'

That was, of course, a lie. Mal was sure he wouldn't be sleeping for a good long while.

'I'll go see if Kaylee needs anything before I head to my shuttle.' Inara softy said, looking at Mal.

He gave a nod. 'Be sure you do; I'm sure she could use a friend right now.'

River poked her head into the room at this point. 'Won't be found; not in the usual places. Hiding away, little mouse in a hole, can't bear to be in her regular home... it's a trap, wants the cheese but is scared to take it. And,' she shot a pointed look at her brother, 'feels bad. Guilty. Don't be a boob.'

With that River disappeared back into the hall and away, leaving the crew slightly stunned in her wake.

'Well then, you heard River; I'll guess she'll be found when she wants to be found. I'm sure River will let us know when and if she needs us, and until then I expect all of you to sleep or get on with your regular duties, ya hear? I ain't payin' you all to sit around the kitchen and mope. So git.' The words fit coming from Mal, but the tone was forced, and he clearly didn't mean them; he was simply acting his part.

Everyone still stood up just the same, though, and headed off silently to their respective quarters to wait and worry.

--

Almost as soon as Mal had left her room Kaylee followed him out, pausing to make sure that he hadn't heard her exiting behind him. She held her breath until she was sure, and then began carefully making her way towards the engine room, slinking along the walls in the shadows. She paused outside the hatchway, looking in at the spinning engine before turning away, and heading to the cargo bay. Once there she gave a cautious glance around the room before slipping into a well-hidden crawl space over the engine; she was almost certain that even Mal didn't know about this hidey-hole. It was her one private place on _Serenity_, though she rarely felt the need to venture into it.

She wormed her way down until she was on top of one of the plates that housed the engine; she could feel the heat radiating upward from the machinery, warming the metal as though the ship were alive. Kaylee lowered herself down slowly, laying on her belly and spreading her arms out as though hugging the cladding beneath her; she turned her head to the side to rest her cheek on the warm surface.

But even the warmth that was Serenity couldn't stop Kaylee from shivering, and so she simply laid there, eyes closed for hours, trembling and losing herself in the sounds of _Serenity_.

_Well, here you are, chapter 5. Not so sure that I'm happy with the abrupt ending, but I really wanted to get this out. I actually had it written two days ago on my birthday, but I turned 19 (legal, woohoo!), and as such was a _little_ drunk... not much, honestly, but I figured that I had better not try and proof it then. And we had invintory at work so it's been super busy there. Thanks again for all your reviews and alerts and even the hits (almost 1000 now!); they're shiny as can be. And to impeccableblahs: glad that I made your day a little brighter... you make mine with your reviews! Love them, they always make me smile. Early's defs dead (phew), and I know that Jayne is never gentle, but Kaylee's so sweet, and he looked so guilty that time she got shot that I just couldn't help it! Well, I had best run now my lovely readers, as my laptop is just about out of power and I have to work the early shift tomorrow. So toodles and take care until next time._

_Ciao, Moksgmol_


	6. Chapter 6

River danced about the dark kitchen, pulling food out of cupboards and gathering it onto a plate in the centre of the room before prancing to another door for food. She worked this way in silence for a while, before gracefully picking up the dish and flowing out of the room toward the cargo bay.

When she reached the cavernous cargo bay she perched on one of the railings, holding the meal in front of her with both hands, waiting in silence for Kaylee to appear.

--

After lying in silence but for _Serenity_ for hours Kaylee was no closer to calm then she had been when she had entered her hidey-hole, and she exhaled through still-trembling lips before pulling herself away from the ship's heat. She slowly and carefully climbed out of the space, the tight fit forcing her to back her way into the hold.

A hand suddenly clamped down over her mouth and she stiffened, a strangled noise lodging itself in her throat.

'Hush, don't scream. Just me. And you. Just us alone, little mouse. Brought you some cheese.' River held her palm in place until she was sure Kaylee wouldn't shout before slowly relaxing her grip and stepping back from the smaller girl. 'Just wanted alone time; she didn't want to scare the mouse with too many big noises and lights... too many people.'

Kaylee turned to face her, silent and staring, waiting for River to continue.

The reader simply gave her a frown before repeating herself. 'Brought you some cheese little mouse.'

Kaylee had already noticed the plate in River's hand but had refused to acknowledge it.

River gestured towards her with the plate, ducking her head and extending her arm towards the mechanic as though she were a small and timid animal.

'Don't know why you're bein' so nice to me. Sure that _you _of all people know what I done. And even if you don't Simon's gonna wanna keep me 'way from you, so I'll save him the trouble of havin' to yell at me.' Kaylee's voice was thick and she was still visibly trembling, but the tears that had yet to stain her visage since she had woken up didn't start.

River cocked her head and deepened her frown; she knew what Early had done but was confused as to the mechanic's reaction. 'Don't understand what you mean. She just wants to feed the mouse, just wants to help. The big, clumpy human must be scaring the little animal.' River paused here, trying to make herself even less intimidating. 'It's okay, everything is okay. Family is here. Captain daddy and Inara and even Jayne and his girly name. Don't want a mouse; want a mechanic. You can be a person again now little mouse.'

Kaylee blinked at her; what didn't River get?

The psychic reached out for the older girl with the plate again. 'C'mon.'

'No thanks, River; 'm not hungry.'

River pouted, resolutely holding out the plate.

The two stood, simply staring at each other in a stiff, tense silence, neither willing to bend.

'Not _your_ fault little mouse. Big old lion's fault... and he's gone now. No one's mad at you. Just scared is all'

Kaylee's eyes widened and River cursed her inability to string words together in ways that wouldn't be misunderstood... that and the fact that she was a Tam, and that their social skills were sometimes lacking, as Simon was always quick to prove.

'I knew it, they're all gonna hate me an' I'm gonna be kicked off-a _Serenity_ 'cause I'm gonna get them all killed, and, and, oh, oh...' Kaylee trailed off, words collapsing into gaspy breaths as her thoughts rushed ahead of her mouth.

'No, no, little mouse, don't be silly. Everyone loves you, everyone cares, everyone-'

'Simon won't!' Kaylee was suddenly yelling, and she wasn't entirely sure where the rage was coming from. Her voice was echoing around the hold and she expected that the captain and crew would be bursting in any minute now. Not that they wanted to see her anyways. 'He'll hate me 'cause I, I...' She fell off, rage dwindling, chest heaving as her anger bled away and her throat began to tighten.

'It's okay little mouse; humans are up to seventy per cent water. You can use some tears.' River stayed in the same spot but spread her arms wide, a silent invitation.

Kaylee's body gave one last tremble before breathing in a shuddering gasp and falling forward into the younger girl's arms. Her eyes were jammed shut but that didn't stop the tears from leaking out from under her lashes, slowly at first before they were a torrent, rushing down her face, racing towards her chin to drip to the floor.

'He's gonna hate me; ain't never gonna talk to me again, 'n I don' blame 'im!' Kaylee was howling now, her words barely understandable, but River simply shushed her, gald that she had managed to empty her hands of the plate before filling them with Kaylee.

'Won't hate you.'

Kaylee pulled her head back to look at the other girl; River's arms prevented her from pulling her whole body away.

'He threw away _everything_ just to protect you, an' here I am riskin' you an' him an' everyone! 'Course he's gonna hate me, he loves _you_ first always 'cause you're his sister. Look what he did for you; he ain't gonna let me stand in the way.'

River's hand snaked up behind Kaylee's head and pushed it back into her body, effectively quieting the girl. 'He's a boob, but he loves you little mouse; the big, awkward, buffalo boob loves you. Loves you like he loves the girl.'

Kaylee opened her mouth to protest more, but River stopped her. 'Wants you to be family too; that's why he can't be mad... why he won't ever be mad at you for being who you are. Family.'

Kaylee had no response and simply let herself dissolve into sobs on River's shoulder.

--

'Couldn't get the mouse to eat captain daddy.'

'S'okay River; you did a lot better than that, I'm thinkin'.' Mal responded, making his way down the stairs towards the two women. True to Kaylee's prediction, he had come running at her shout, quickly followed by Simon. Seeing that she was opening up to River, however, he stopped, throwing out an arm to catch Simon before they interrupted the pair below. They had stayed silent throughout the meeting, gleaning what information they could, and though it had killed both men to stay silent, they knew it was for the best. It was only once the girl had cried herself to sleep that the captain had moved.

'Where do you want her put?' Mal questioned, looking to the doctor.

Simon sighed, pulling himself back to the present and away from his contemplations of Kaylee's admissions. 'Inara's shuttle if she'll have her. I don't want her alone, and she can't be in with River since I'll be in our cabin with her.'

'Of course I'll take her; it'll be my pleasure to help in any way I can,' Inara stepped from the shadows on the catwalk by her shuttle; apparently she had also heard the young mechanic's yelling.

Mal nodded, satisfied, before bending down to pick Kaylee's sleeping form up. He carried her away from the Tams, who had instinctively shifted towards each other as they watched the captain carry Kaylee up the stairs. The captain paused at the top, allowing Inara to tenderly stroke some of the mechanic's hair, stuck to her tear tracks, into place behind her ears,

'Where do you want her?' Mal whispered, voice rumbling softy in his chest, careful not to wake the girl in his arms.

'She can have my bed; I'll sleep on the couch.'

Mal complied, though he had a tough time imagining the companion sleeping on anything other than silken sheets and fancy linens.

'I'll listen for her now, Mal. You get some rest.'

'Don't recken that I can; want to make sure scum like that hun dan ain't never gonna get on my ship again, You just take care of little Kaylee for now though; give me a call on the comm if you need anything at all.'

Inara nodded and Mal gave Kaylee one last look before sweeping out of the room.

--

In the hold River shot Simon a look out of the corner of her eye, waiting for him to speak.

'How does she ever think that I would be mad? How am I going to fix this one up...' Simon trailed off, mumbling to himself quietly, and that was all the coaxing River needed.

She turned her entire head towards him, giving him as stern a look as she could manage. 'Don't be an awkward buffalo boob, Simon; be gentle with the little mouse.'

And with that she picked up the plate she'd abandoned in favour of Kaylee earlier and swept out of the room, dancing again, pointedly ignoring her brother's bewildered look.

_Well, there's chappie 6 for you, my dears. Sorry it took so long; I was off at a family reunion. So hopefully the next one won't be as long a wait... it's planned, just not written yet, ahha. But I did post another story... just a Wash/Zoe oneshot, so go check it out :) And a big thanks to impeccableblahs for the review; made me smile as always! I guess that she didn't exactly go back to the engine room, but she will be soon. It's all Kaylee's after all, and I don't think she'd ever abandon _Serenity_. Nicely done guessing it was going to be River! I toyed with other characters, but ultimately it had to be her. I wasn't very comfortable writing her, but I'm pretty happy with the result. Anyways, I had best head for dinner now, but I hope that you all enjoyed this!_

_Ciao for now, Moksgmol _


	7. Chapter 7

Inara started awake on the couch, shooting her eyes about the darkened shuttle to see what had woken her. When nothing jumped out at her, she turned her gaze to Kaylee, a silent lump under the covers of the companion's bed. Inara squinted in the dim light at the other girl's still form, trying to figure out if she was awake or not. Unable to tell, she slipped off the couch, making her way over to Kaylee and resting a soft hand on the blankets above her shoulder. She gave a sigh when she felt the girl gently quivering under the many layers of fabric.

'Mei mei?'

The was a tiny shudder of breath before the younger girl turned away from Inara and into the bedding, trying to hide the sound of her tears.

'Come on, Kaylee. You can talk to me, baby.'

'N-nothing to say.' She choked out.

'Now bao bei, we both know that's not true.' Inara gently lifted the covers, sliding in behind Kaylee and cradling her in her arms. 'Now come on; talk to me.'

'Oh, 'Nara, I can't... I just, I don't know what to say, or what to feel, and I don't know how anyone's ever gonna forgive me, or how he's... oh, an' I don't, don't...' She broke of, stumbling over tears and choking gasps, curling even further into herself.

'Kaylee, listen to me... Kaylee.' Inara pulled the girl tighter to her until they were both shaking from Kaylee's suppressed sobbing. 'There's nothing to forgive. Nobody could ever blame you for anything, least of all this. And don't you blame yourself. It was that... that _monster_ who's to blame for everything, okay? Not you; not ever you.'

Kaylee just sniffled to herself and stayed quiet, allowing herself a few minutes in Inara's embrace before rolling away and up out of the bed. The companion gave her a frown, 'Where are you going mei mei?'

'Engine room.' Kaylee kept her face hidden, and tried to clandestinely wipe at her tears in the darkness of the shuttle.

'It's still late... maybe just early now. Come on back to bed; you can have it to yourself if you'd like. _Serenity_ can wait until morning.'

'Oh, no, I can't impose anymore, 'Nara. 'Sides, I wanna make sure my baby's okay; Cap's gonna want her tip top like usual. Sure we'll have a job again soon if'n he doesn't already have one lined up.'

'Kaylee, Mal doesn't-'

But Kaylee cut Inara off with a thank you and disappeared out of the shuttle before the older woman had finished her sentence.

--

Making her way through _Serenity's_ silent corridors was so reminiscent of the engine room only hours earlier that she found her heart racing and her breath pounding. She was almost running by the time she reached her destination and whipped into the room, leaning against the wall on the inside of the door, letting the steal cool her as she leant against it, catching her breath and wondering if she would ever stop shaking.

Once she had calmed down a little Kaylee opened her eyes, looking everywhere but the places Early had tarnished. Keeping to the edges of the room she made her way to the engine proper, gathering tools as she went, setting to work as soon as she reached her ship's heart, paying no real mind to her work.

--

Hours later Mal made his way to the mess, rubbing sandpaper eyes, no closer to finding the answers he wanted and almost out of ideas. After downing a cup of the most awful coffee he could prepare he was ready to take Inara's advice and catch some sleep before continuing his hunt when he heard an echoing clang from below. Abandoning his nearly empty mug on the table he made his way to the engine room, slowing as he reached the entrance, not wanting to startle whoever it was inside. Pausing outside only to draw his gun, he slowly made his way around the corner, weapon held in front of him, mindful to watch for who it was before he shot this time.

--

Kaylee was wanting her wrench - well, needing it really - but upon realizing she had dropped it when Early had startled her she was unwilling to search for it, not wanting to be in that space lest she be snuck up on and trapped again. And so it was that she had resorted to chewing her lip as she tried to find a way to get to the part she needed without using her wrench, when she heard the sound of someone on the other side of the door.

Her head whipped around and she began to crouch, stopping the action midway and stifling a yelp of pain when she felt the skin of her hand rip. Eyes wild with fear she stood up to wrench her hand free of the engine, an unpleasant tearing feeling accompanying the motion, before cradling the injured hand to herself and backing up as a gun snaked its way around the door.

'Kaylee!' Mal cried out, startled, when their eyes met. He almost dropped the weapon in his haste to point it somewhere, anywhere but at her. Once that the weapon was no longer pointed at her, Mal calmly began to put it back into its holster, 'What're you doin' down here at this hour; thought that you were with Inara in her shuttle?' When he received no immediate answer, Mal looked up at her, surprised to see the girl short of breath and panicky.

'Kaylee.'

She took a gulp of air before looking up at him. 'Nothin' Cap. M'fine.'

But Mal didn't like the way she trembled, arms tucked into herself. He moved forward, stopping directly in front of her, reaching out to rest his hands on her upper arms. He was pleased that she didn't flinch away, but less than pleased at the way she avoided his eyes.

'I scared you, didn't I?' She didn't answer, just keep studying the wall behind him and to his left. He cupped her face with his right hand and brought it up to meet his gaze, angry at himself for the soft tremors he could feel running through her. 'I'm sorry mei mei; I can be a bit of a fool sometimes, can't I?'

'Oh, no, Cap, weren't your fault... just me bein' silly is all.' She continued to resolutely avoid his eyes.

'Now Kaylee, that's somethin' I don't wanna here comin' from your mouth again. You got nothin' to blame yourself for: not this, and not any of the things that that awful man did to you, ya hear? Never, _ever_, do I wanna hear you sayin' that again, dong ma?'

His words were a little sharper than he intended, but he was rewarded when she almost met his gaze, only stopping herself at the last moment. 'And besides, I was just as scared; thought that mayhap someone else had found there way onto our Serenity'

She did look up at him this time, the tiniest bit of hope in her eyes.

'Really?' The question was small and childlike, and Mal felt the strangest sensation tugging at both his lips and his heart, as though his body wasn't sure whether to smile or cry.

'Course, Kaylee. But don't you be tellin' noone, mei mei; wouldn't want to ruin my captainly image.' And with that he placed a soft, comforting kiss on her forehead and she fell into his embrace.

He wasn't surprised to feel the warm wetness at his chest, but he was surprised to feel it on his stomach, where her right hand was crushed between them.

'Kaylee?'

She shifted back slightly to look at him and he reached down between them, taking her hand in his, alarmed by the slickness that coated his fingers. He put more space between them to properly look at the injury, and winced a bit in sympathy. The skin of her palm had been torn to shreds by something, most likely a part from the engine judging by the grease she'd managed to get in the wound. 'Oh,

Cap, I'm sorry about your coat, I didn't-'

'Nevermind that Kaylee; when did this happen'?'

She looked away again. 'Just before you came in, Cap.'

A guilty feeling swept over him. 'Did I cause this, bao bei?'

'Oh, no, nothing like that, I just...' and she trailed off, looking for a suitable excuse.

'Don't lie little Kaylee; no need.' 'Just startled, is all... slipped.'

'Right. Well, I'll just try to keep myself from making a bigger idiot of myself while we bandage that up real quick, alright?'

She nodded while he searched for a clean rag, eventually finding one that, while not anything he would find fit to eat off of, would do to stem the blood for the short walk to the doctor. He wrapped it tightly around her hand, glad to see that her tears were beginning to dry.

'Now, let's get you off to Simon, I'm sure the boys's still up.'

'No.'

Mal was stunned by her interruption, 'Scuze me?'

'Please Mal?'

'That needs to be looked at, Kaylee.'

'Can't someone else? You or Zoe or 'Nara? Jayne?'

'Now why would you want Jayne lookin' at that? More'n likely that you'd lose your hand that way. It has to be Simon; ain't noone else out here in this part of space right now. 'Sides, that is what I pay him for... when there's pay, that is.'

'_He_ was out here.'

Mal was momentarily floored at the fact that she would sooner discuss Early than go to see Simon.

'What's wrong with goin' to see Simon, Kaylee?' Mal frowned at her, noticing that the tears had started up again.

'He don't wanna see me, Cap. And I don't blame him.'

'Kaywinnet, what the 'verse are you talking about? Boy's always happy to see you, even if he can't keep hold of that tongue of his.'

She said nothing, resolutely not moving from her place.

'Now Kaylee, you're not going to argue this; I'll pull you in there kicking and screamin' if'n that's what you'd like. Or I'll get Jayne to if you'd prefer it. Fact of the matter is, though, we're goin.'' He paused in his tirade, softening his voice for the last bit and reaching for her good hand. 'Now come on mei mei, I know that hurts. I'll stay with you the whole way, okay?'

And so she had no choice but to let him lead her forward, lagging as slowly as she could, out of the engine room and to the infirmary.

_There we go, chapter seven finally up! Sorry about any grammatical errors... facebook screwed up my formating and took out bits of punctuation randomly. Think that I fixed all of it up, but I may have missed a few. And I'm truly sorry that this took so long! I've been super busy between work and summer and applying for this program... fact of the matter is, I should be able to write more when college starts again next week. I'll have all of those lovely breaks between classes. Lastly, of course, a big THANK YOU to my two lovely reviewers; I really enjoy getting thoughtful, constructive, funny reviews, especially ones that are so complementary :) And to ferocious mope (love the name change, by the by), your ramblings are always welcome, as are your wonderful and gracious reviews (you make me all warm and fuzzy inside). I may try and write a season two... we'll see how this fic ends first. I'm afraid that in it Kaylee would probably get together with Simon, though, because I just love them so. this story might get a little that way too, but I'll try not to make it too heavy._

_Ciao for now my darling readers! -Moksgmol_


	8. Chapter 8

Simon was sorting through his inventory when Mal stepped into the doorjam.

'Doc. Need ya for a second.'

His head snapped towards Mal, eyes skipping over him to rest on Kaylee, who was hovering behind her captain, eyes downcast.

Simon turned his full attention to the pair, but kept himself from rushing up to them.

'Yes?'

Mal didn't answer right away; he was too preoccupied with taking Kaylee by the hand to lead her into the room.

'Got a patient for you,' Mal stated, returning his attention to Simon once he knew Kaylee wouldn't bolt, her hand safely captured within his own.

He stepped back as he gently pulled Kaylee forward, effectively handing her over to Simon when he released her fingers from his own.

Kaylee turned fearful eyes back towards Mal when she realized that there was noone left to hide her from the doctor.

'S'okay meimei.' Mal said, quirking his lips into a smile for her. As much as he hated to know that he had put that expression on her face, he knew that she needed to sort things out with the doc, though he hardly knew what, and that doing it now rather than later would undoubtably be less painful. 'I'll be right outside the door; you gotta have a talk with the doc. All that fancy doctor-patient confindentially means that I gotta leave, hmmm?'

When his eyes met Simon's with a significant look the doctor gave him a belated nod back, staring for a moment at the spot the captain had recently vacated.

Simon's gaze then shifted to Kaylee and he watched her for a moment, waiting for her to turn around, but after a stretch of silence he drew his courage together and moved forward to take her hand.

She flinched but didn't turn around, and Simon further gathered himself, drawing and releasing a breath before beginning to speak to her.

'Kaylee' he softly began, giving her hand a gentle squeeze to encourage her to turn her head back towards him. 'What's wrong?'

'Oh,' she pulled her eyes from the door, moving her head back towards him but keeping her eyes on the ground. 'Nothin' much really; just caught up my hand on the engine.'

She made no move to show him her hurt, and so he had to reach for her other hand, turning her body more towards his own as he did so. He glanced to her face for permission, though her eyes were still downcast, before taking her injured hand into both of his hands. He used his thumbs to spread her fingers away from her palm, frowning at the torn skin and blood.

'Here,' and Simon led her over to the bed, sitting her down on the side before bustling about the room, grabbing salves and bandages. He then made his way back to her, 'Give me your hand.'

She silently complied, staying still and silent as he cleaned and wrapped her palm.

Simon stayed as quiet as she was while he worked, returning her hand to her lap once he was finished. He then reached up, tipping her chin until her eyes met his own. She looked away as soon as their eyes made contact.

He sighed, 'Kaylee, you're shaking. Will you _please_ just tell me what I've done?'

Tears welled up behind her eyes and a sob left her throat.

'Kaylee...'

'_NO_! No, Simon, it ain't you. Don't see why you're bein' so nice... I wouldn't be surprised if you never wanted to talk to me again.'

And she dissolved into tears, her actions betraying her lies.

Simon blinked in surprise, pulling the hand under her chin back only to replace it with both of his palms on her shoulders, giving her a gentle shake to get her attention.

'Kaylee, what're you-'

'I told him, okay? I told him, and you should hate me, an', an'-'

'Told who what? Early?'

'Where you an' River were! You've both saved my life and I couldn't even do the same... I just _told_ him and-'

Simon leaned forward and hugged her, effectively cutting off her rant. She sobbed and shuddered in his arms, and for a moment it was all he could do to rub her back and make calming noises. When her violent shaking had abated slightly and he knew she could hear him, Simon began.

'Kaylee, listen to me, alright? There's no way I blame you for _anything_-'

'But-'

'No, just listen for a minute, okay? What that bastard did to you is unforgivable, and he did it even though you gave him all the information he asked for, right? Can you imagine what he would have done if you _hadn't_ told him?'

He paused at this point, making sure that she was paying attention before he continued.

'He would have killed us all... _none _ of us would have made it, and for that we _all_ owe you. If you hadn't stayed there with him, if you hadn't been brave enough to stay silent instead of screaming and scaring him off, River never would have had the time to pick up on your feelings and alert the crew before he found us. We would probably all be dead right now. So I don't ever want you to blame yourself for any of what happened, okay? In fact, I want you to promise that you'll stop all of this silliness right now, and just focus on getting better, okay?'

Simon paused for a moment, panting slightly, listening to her quiet snuffles, when the colour drained from his face and he realized what he'd just said. He pushed her back away from his body to look at her face.

'B-but I don't mean that I wanted you to - for him to - I mean to say that, it's just, if you hadn't -' he broke off, seeing the beginnings of a smirk on her face. Thankfully he hadn't messed up like he usually did.

He leaned forward, tipping up her chin again, and this time she let their eyes meet and hold.

'What I mean to say - and what I mean to mean - is that you're very brave, and that _nothing_ that man has done to you or that you did in response that could make me hate you or love you any less-'

She blinked at him in surprise.

-'aaaaas a fellow crewmember, and, you know, a friend too.'

He coughed a little bit, a faint blush starting to colour his cheeks.

There were a few moments of near-quiet while Kaylee snuffled herself into speaking.

'Thanks Simon.'

He nodded, pulling her into a hug, 'You're welcome Kaylee.'

_There we go, finally up! It's been written for a while (along with a bunch of other stuff, actually... another two oneshots for _Firefly _and one for _Bones_, so watch for those). Sorry about the lateness; my Grandmother has been sick and things have been a little stressful; hopefully the next update won't take nearly as long! Thanks again to ferocious mope; love the reviews! Wish that I could say more here but I'm about to run out of power on my laptop, so I had better just post this._

_Ciao to all of you, and I hope that you enjoy this chapter! -Moksgmol_


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